Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Eulogy for Thomas Joseph Croghan, 26 May 1944 - 21 April 2008

Eulogy for Thomas Joseph Croghan, 26 May 1944 - 21 April 2008

(For his memorial service, 28 April 2008, in Clinton, NY)

I want to thank everybody for being here today. I’ve never had a moment’s doubt that a great many people loved and honored my Dad. But if I had, then the love, prayers, and all kinds of support that have poured into my family over the past few months would have put those doubts well and truly to rest.

Beloved family, dear friends, neighbors, co-workers - it seems like everybody who’s known my Dad and Mom have grown to love them, and have demonstrated that love in very real, very significant ways again and again in these weeks and months since we learned of Dad’s illness. From the bottom of my heart - to those who could be here today and to those who couldn’t - thank you.

I also want to admit something to you all. Over the past week, I’ve felt a great many strong emotions.

Enormous sadness, loss, and grief for the loss of my beloved Dad.

Deep gratitude and pride for the incredible blessing and privilege it has been to be raised, loved, and taught by this giving, humble, good man.

Overwhelming love, admiration, and concern for the incredibly strong, endlessly caring woman I’m proud to call Mom.

Loving affection for, and pride in, my brother Sean, who as his father’s son has served and loved his Dad and Mom with steadfast courage, humor, and tenderness.

Gratitude for the amazing woman who has had the remarkable good taste to fall in love with my brother, and who has juggled school, work, job interviews, and wedding planning with showering love and support on Sean, Dad, Mom and all of us - all with amazing grace. Anna, I’m so grateful that you’re in our lives.

Deep thankfulness for the amazing woman who had the…uh…remarkable taste to fall in love with me. Tina, I know this has been hard for you, and you’ve been a rock to me and to us. Again. I love you.

Amazed gratitude, as I already mentioned, for the love demonstrated for all of us by a host of dear family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

I’ve felt all of these things. But I need to admit to you all that I’ve felt something else this week, when I’ve thought about standing here in front of you today.

I’ve felt just a little bit scared and intimidated by the prospect of eulogizing Tom Croghan, my Dad. Not because it’s difficult to say good things about Dad - nothing could be further from the truth! But I’ve felt a little scared because I can’t imagine being able to do justice to his life. I don’t care if I stood up here and talked for six hours - you all might care about that, but I don’t, so make yourselves comfortable - but even if I took that long, I couldn’t begin to do justice to the life of this man, this giant.

Some people might look at Tom Croghan’s life and say it was a small life. In his nearly sixty-four years on this earth, Dad never had a lot of money. He came from humble beginnings in his Irish immigrant family in Utica, NY, and through a lifetime of hard work and dedication, provided everything his family needed to be happy and secure - and knew there was nothing more worth asking for.

He was never famous, unless you count the reputation that “the Croghan boys” had in certain pubs and taverns in Utica during a particular decade. Wait, there’s a different word for that, isn’t there? “Infamous.” That’s the one.

Dad never had authority over large numbers of people. He never had impressive belongings (though he took great care with what he had). He never earned the envy of those who value audacious wealth, status, and power. But he commanded the respect and admiration of anyone who knew him, and who knew what is truly valuable in this life.

You could call my Dad’s life small, but if you did, just don’t expect me to comprehend what the hell you’re talking about. Because I stand here in awe of the many ways in which this man - this man who mysteriously stood several inches shorter than it said on his Air Force papers - this man was a giant.

Tom Croghan was a devoted son. I’m sure his beloved brothers and sisters gathered here could say more than I can about that, but I know Dad used to go to the cemetery for hours to talk with his own dear father, the Grandpa Croghan I never met. And several of Dad’s siblings have remarked just in the past few weeks about the joy with which Grandma Croghan would greet the arrival of Dad’s red pickup truck for one of his frequent visits.

Tom was a devoted and well-loved brother. Every one of his dear sisters and brothers loved Dad dearly, as he loved them - and they showed it. Their children and grandchildren all had a special affection for Uncle Tom, and Dad, with his unfailing ability to relate to kids at their level - you know what I mean - returned that love. Dad would never hesitate a moment to go anywhere or do anything for his family.

My Dad was a dear friend to many, and I’ve been deeply touched many, many times during my life, by the fierce affection of Dad’s long-time buddies for him, and his for them. Dad was a man with strong, close friendships and lifelong friends. He was a man who would always, always be there for someone, and he inspired the same devotion in those blessed to call him friend.

Tom Croghan’s career was not one in which he rose through the ranks of management, but listen to the recent words of his boss’s boss:

I had the great pleasure of working with Tom for several years. I admired his work ethic, intelligence, and wicked sense of humor. He accompanied me to visit [an automotive supplier] once, and correctly showed a group of highly educated engineers that their drawings contained errors. They had previously stated that there was no way their drawings were incorrect, but Tom respectfully proved them wrong. I went to Tom often...to get his opinions on complicated drawings because I knew he was uniquely qualified to answer. I respected him so very much, and will miss him greatly.


Dad was not a man with impressive academic credentials or executive power. He was a consummate professional and a master of his craft. He was proud of his professional accomplishments, and rightly so. Many of his co-workers have expressed that they don’t know what they’ll do without him.

My Dad was probably the strongest man I ever met. In addition to all the other things he was in his lifetime, I want us to remember this, too: Tom Croghan was a drunk. There was a time before I met him that Dad was drinking so much, every day, that it could easily have killed him. My Mom recently mentioned, to the amazement of Sean, Tina, and me, that he first needed to get dentures when he got his teeth knocked out in one of many youthful drunken brawls.

But that’s not the man I ever knew. It’s not the man Sean ever knew, and it’s not the man Mom ever knew. The Tom Croghan we knew was the one who, by sheer force of will, cleaned himself up and remade himself into a gentle, humble, hard-working and responsible husband, father, and friend. Who gave up a heavy cigarette habit, quitting cold turkey and never going back. Who went to college at age 50, and proved what we always knew was true: that he had the drive and intelligence to get A’s while working full-time and continuing to be the attentive, devoted husband and father he always was.

Tom Croghan was the most loving, caring, committed husband I’ve ever met. He and Mom were lifemates, partners, best friends - in every way the most perfect example of a loving marriage relationship that I’ve ever encountered. Dad was the love of Mom’s life, and Mom was his. We, their children, are so, so blessed to have had their example of a powerful love relationship in our lives. As Mom has said many times, “We had the best.” Yes, we did. We did.

I don’t know if I can speak for Sean when I try to talk about what Dad means to us as a father. Actually, I know I can’t. Each of us has our own relationship with our Dad, and our own experience of who he was. But I know beyond doubt that he agrees with me when I say that Tom Croghan was the best father we could ever, ever imagine having.

Dad was never all that verbally expressive, but we never for one moment doubted that he loved us fiercely and unconditionally. He would do absolutely anything for his beloved family, and he did. Everything he did - a lifetime of dedication, hard work, and service, he did for us. With his natural, slightly bent sense of humor - so much a part of Dad - he was constantly making us laugh and making us happy, right up to the end. He was always there for us, always supported us, and always showed his love for us in so many ways.

A couple of weeks before Dad passed away, our Hospice chaplain, Michael, stopped by and talked with Mom, Dad, and me. At one point in the conversation, Dad said, “I hope…” and had difficulty finishing the sentence. Michael gave him some time, and then said, “Tom, that’s something I wanted to ask you about. What do you hope?” Dad paused, and then said, “I hope…the kids are happy.”

Later that day, I told Dad that I wanted him to know this, because it’s true. I am happy. But I want you all to know that I’m happy because I’m the man Dad raised me to be. When I think about it, I realize that so many of the aspects of who I am that people tell me they admire - they come from Dad.

Sometimes people say things to me like, “You’re such a servant.” Well, if I am, it’s because I was brought up by this man who devoted every moment of his life as a husband and father to humble and tireless service of the people in his life. It’s because I’m the son of Tom Croghan, a man whose effortless giving nature and utter selflessness I can never, ever hope to imitate, as hard as I may try.

I am happy, and it’s because I have a wife who loves me, and dear friends who love me. And they love me because I am a man raised by a giant - by a great man who led a great life. Thank you, Dad. I love you so much.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dad's obituary

Monroe, NC

Thomas Joseph Croghan

Mr. Croghan, 63, passed away peacefully with his beloved family by his side at home on Monday, April 21, 2008. A memorial service will take place on Monday, April 28, 2008 at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Clinton, NY, at 10:00 AM with Father John Croghan officiating.

Mr. Croghan was born on May 26, 1944 in Utica, NY, son of the late John and Catherine Doherty Croghan. He was a graduate of Notre Dame High School in Utica, NY. Tom's blessing in life was spending as much time as possible with his loving wife, Lynne and his sons Michael and Sean. Tom liked working in the garden, enjoying the beaches of North Carolina, and spending time with his family.

Survivors include his wife and best friend, Lynne Stedman Croghan, of Monroe, NC; sons Michael Croghan and wife, Tina Driskell, of Virginia; Sean Croghan and fiancée Anna Pliszka, of Winston-Salem, NC; siblings Mary Wilcox and husband Jim, of New Hartford, NY; Sister Catherine Joseph (Judy) Croghan, of Utica, NY; Edward Croghan and wife Linda, of Rome, NY; Sister Catherine Sean (Joan) Croghan, of Amsterdam, NY; and Father John Croghan, of Clinton, NY, and a host of extended family and friends.

The family would like to thank Hospice of Union County for their excellent care and assistance during this difficult time, and also Kevin and Michelle for their loving care and support shown not only to Tom but also to his family. In lieu of flowers the family asks that memorials be made to Hospice of Union County, 700 West Roosevelt Blvd., Monroe, NC 28110 or to a charity of one's choice.

Arrangements for the family have been entrusted to the care of Heritage Funeral & Cremation Service, Weddington Chapel. An online guestbook is available at www.heritagefuneral.net

Monday, April 21, 2008

Dad's passed away

Dear family and friends,

Dad passed away just before noon today. He was sleeping comfortably and peacefully in his bedroom, and we were all gathered around him with Mom holding his hand. Dad hadn't been fully conscious for about the last 24 hours, but when Mom took his hand just before the end, he wrapped his fingers around it. We all told him we loved him, kissed him, and hugged him, and then he passed away, as peaceful as any of us could imagine.

Dad continued to be alert and constantly cracking us up with his humor, until Saturday bedtime. As was the case all along, Dad's final couple of days were peaceful, free of pain or suffering, and surrounded by his beloved family.

It's with enormous grief and sadness that we share the loss of our husband, our Dad, our friend, but also with deep gratitude to have been loved and served and taught by this good man, who was completely himself his entire life - full of strength, humor, and caring for all of us.

We're more grateful than ever for your love, prayers, and support, dear friends.

Love to all of you.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Still very tired

Since our wonderful evening with Tom on Tuesday, and then a brief time out of bed for breakfast Wednesday morning, he has not had the strength to get out of bed as of this morning.

The Hospice nurse, Carole was here yesterday and drew more blood. As expected his counts were down and Dr. Traughtmann had to make a decision as how to proceed. His decision was not to put Tom through the ordeal of getting into the hospital to receive more platelets. He felt that the energy that Tom would expend would out weight the benefits that receiving the platelets would do.

Kim, the aide from Hospice, was here this morning and at Tom's request, shaved his face clean. He said that it was starting to get long and was bothering him. This is hard for us to get use to as he has had a mustache and goatee for years now, but we know that it is more comfortable for him.

We continue to enjoy the humor that is uniquely Tom's. It is these fantastic moments that we will cherish and remember. We are so very grateful that he is not in any pain and pray that this will continue to be the case. He is so tired that I think that he is surprised when he wakes up each morning. We on the other hand thank God that he has given us the privilege of another day to share with him.

The love and support that we have received from everyone is a bit overwhelming and we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

UPDATE from Mike - Between when Mom wrote this and when I got in to proofread it, Dad woke up and decided to get up for a little breakfast/lunch. Mom made him scrambled egg, bacon, toast, and fresh pineapple, and he ate a little of each (actually quite a bit of pineapple), plus some Ensure. He was tired and didn't stay up for long, but it gave Mom a chance to put fresh sheets on the bed, and Dad a chance to zing us all a bit with his humor. :-) Dad's sleeping comfortably again now.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Higher spirits, wisecracks, and a really good evening

It's Mike - we wanted to update you all - Dad's been in much higher spirits since Monday. He hasn't regained physical strength, but mentally and spiritually he's been much, much more positive and peaceful, and less frustrated and discouraged. Also, his sense of humor, which has been a constant (since the day he learned to talk, I would imagine) has been in rare form, and he's been cracking us up regularly whenever he's been awake.

Then, last night, Dad told Mom that he thought he'd like to get up for a bit and watch TV. We were amazed - that's the first time since this past Thursday that he's been awake enough in the evening to consider that - for the past several days, he'd been getting up for a small breakfast and staying awake for an hour or two for whatever morning regimen was scheduled (a visit from the nurse and/or home health aide or the like), and then sleeping the rest of the day and night, apart from brief wake-ups for Ensure, juice, meds, and bathroom breaks.

So we helped Dad sit up in bed, and he asked what was on TV. Mom said "Dancing With the Stars", and Dad groaned and made a face and made to lay back down again - there's that wicked sense of humor! :-) We helped him into the wheelchair and then onto the sofa, and we all watched TV together for about 2 1/2 hours! Dad was awake and alert the whole time (which is more than we could say for Mom), and then we helped Dad back to bed. It was a great evening, and Dad's spirits and energy - at least his mental energy, which counts for a lot, I'm learning - have continued to be high, which has been a blessing and a joy. We're really rejoicing in these happy times and laughter.

We're deeply grateful, as always, for your love, support, and prayers.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Tom's strength continues to fade

The strength that we had hoped would return by discontinuing Tom's treatments does not seem to have happened so far. In the last week he has gone from being awake (with an occassional catnap) 12 hours a day to him sleeping about 21 hours each day. In the three hours that he is awake, that time is spent giving him medication, nurishment and attending to his personal hygiene. He is so very tired.

We continue to find joy in each accomplishment that he manages to complete. His finishing his scrambled egg this morning while sitting at the breakfast table was a task that took a great deal out of him. However when the job was completed Tom, Mike, Tina and I rejoiced. It took every bit of strength for him to do this and to us it just proved that he is still fighting!

Mike had planned to leave and go back to Virginia last Wednesday. However, he has not been comfortable leaving us at this time. Sean is coming back this afternoon and will stay with us at least through this week. Thank God that they have such wonderful employers that allow them both to work remotely from home and spend so much time with us. I do not know what Tom and I would begin to do without their love and support. Tina has not yet decided when she will return to Virginia, as her job is not quite as flexible. But for now she too is with us and continues to provide her love and support also. We miss Anna, but know that she is very busy trying to finish up her final semister in college so that she can graduate next month.

Again, we thank you all for your love, support, food and most of all your prayers.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Friday, April 11, 2008

Long day, lots of love and support

(This is Mike, who was intending to remember to do this a bit earlier.)

It was a pretty long and tiring day for Dad today, but now (and actually, since about 5pm) he's in bed at home, sleeping comfortably. Dad's doctor asked our Hospice nurse, Carole, to take some blood yesterday for testing, because he was worried that Dad's platelet count might be low. The tests indicated that this was the case, so the doctor called us first thing this morning and asked us to bring Dad into the local hospital (10-15 minutes away) for another blood test and then, if the platelets were still low, a transfusion of platelets. After a little breakfast, and with the help of a Hospice home health care aide, Mom and I got Dad into the car and to the hospital, where they drew more blood. Tests indicated that his platelets were still low, and so were his white blood cells. The doctor (Dad's radiation oncologist, Dr. Traughtmann) consulted with Dad's primary/chemo oncologist, Dr. Brick, and they decided to have Dad stay at the local hospital today and get him some platelets, and then send him home with two prescriptions for antibiotics to counteract infections that might result from his low white blood cell count. Unfortunately, the platelets had to come via courier from Charlotte, so we were at the hospital most of he day, though Dad slept in his hospital bed most of that time. Finally, the platelets showed up, the mission was accomplished, and Mom and I (with the help of hospital staff) got Dad into the car, brought him home, and put him to bed.

Dad was really, really wiped out after the stressful day, but he had enough energy to sit up and say good-bye to his sister Judy, his sister Mary, and her husband Jim, who have been visiting for the past few days and are driving home to central New York very early tomorrow morning. We've all been grateful to have them here, shoring us up with love, humor, joyful stories, and lots of help and support both physical and spiritual. Our dear family friends Theresa (Ta-Ta), Chris, and Christopher drove all day today to join us tomorrow, and we look forward to seeing and hugging them very much.

Dad and Mom are very well-loved, and we're being supported soooo much, in so many ways, by so many family, friends, and neighbors, that I hesitate to name any names among so many. The list of people who have helped us just in very tangible ways within the last 24 hours alone is enormous. But I wanted to thank their dear friends Kevin and Michelle, who have been there for us constantly, in so many ways, for driving into downtown Charlotte tonight and bringing us my wonderful wife, whom I've missed terribly, from the train station. And also their next-door neighbor, Christy, who graciously and welcomingly opened her home to us. Tina's asleep right now in the bed in Christy's spare room, and I'm about to join her.

As always, we can't begin to express our gratitude for the love, prayer, and support and you all express toward us in so many ways.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Monday, April 7, 2008

Thank God for Hospice

Since we have had the privilege of having Hospice it sure has made us all feel better. The weekend nurse Jeannine came on Saturday and relieved Tom of the terrible pain that he had been experiencing due to severe constipation. Once that problem was taken care of, he seemed to improve considerably. We had the best nights sleep that we had had in weeks. He only got up once during the night and not the 7-8 times that he had been getting up. He continues to be very tired and is sleeping quite a bit. The nurses aide was here this morning and helped me give him a shower. He ate a great breakfast and was in good humor when our weekday nurse Carole came to visit. But as soon as she left he was completely exhausted and slept for a couple of hours. The Hospice Chaplain, Michael sat with us for over an hour this afternoon. As Tom was sleeping for the first 45 mintues he was here, he just spoke with Mike and I. When Tom got up he wanted to meet with him. I really feel that this was just what Tom needed. The Chaplain asked if Tom would like him to visit again and Tom said yes. Again, he was completely exhausted and went back to sleep shortly after Michael's visit was over. I was hoping to see some improvement in Tom's energy level by today, but there does not seem to be much of that yet. Our Michael, probably said it the best. He said, "Mom, Dad has had 5 poisons (the brain tumor, chemo, radiation, steroids and his own body's waste) in his body for quite a while now and it is going to take him some time to build up his strength." Of course he was right, but patience has never been one of my strong points!

Tom continues to make us laugh all the time! He has not lost his wonderful sense of humor one bit. Everyone one that comes into our house remarks that they can immediately feel both the love and laughter that we have as a family. With all of the loving support of our family and friends we face each challange as it comes.

It has been wonderful having Mike with us this week. I told him the other day that I would not know what to do without him here to help me get Tom up from the couch. His remark back to me was that he was so very glad to be able to do it as each time he got his Dad up from the couch it gave him another opportunity to give him a hug! A special thanks to Tina for her unselfishness and blessings that Mike was able to spend this week with us.

Tom's sisters Mary and Judy and Mary's husband Jim are driving down tomorrow from New York. They are planning on staying to the weekend. I know that Tom is really looking forward to seeing them as are Mike, Sean, Anna and I.

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we face each new day and each new challenge.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Friday, April 4, 2008

Taking a break

(This is Mike, with Mom, writing together.) After several weeks of continued complications from the treatments (chemo, radiation, and steroids), Drs. Troutman and Brick decided on Wednesday to give Dad a one-day break from the radiation and chemo to see if it would give him a chance to get some of his strength back. Mom and I went with Dad to his radiation treatment appointment with Dr. Troutman today, and talked with him about the current collection of side-effects that Dad is battling. We determined that the one-day break had made little difference. As a family, with the doctor's advice, we decided to give Dad a longer break from the chemo and radiation treatments. We've also decided to ask Hospice for their assistance. This does not mean by any means that we've given up! We're giving Dad some time to recover his strength, and plan to resume the treatment plan (only about 10 days to go) when that happens. Dad continues to be stoic and display his fighting Irish spirit, but we're all agreed that he needs a bit of a break from these treatments relentlessly beating him up.

As always, we're deeply grateful for your love, prayers, and support.

Love,
Tom and Lynne
Mike and Tina
Sean and Anna

Monday, March 31, 2008

The latest update

I really do apologize that it has been so long since the latest update. Due in part to me just not having a lot of extra time and the other part is because we had a virus on our computer and Time Warner cut off our access! Sean got us all set up again today.

We have quickly discovered that our lives are like riding a roller coaster. One minute we are up and the next we are down. The up part was the visit from Tom's brother John. We all enjoyed his visit so much and were really sorry to see him go. We also very much appreciated his taking Tom to his radiation treatments while he was here and going with us to the Oncologist. It has been pretty much down since then. When we saw Lindsey, the Physician's Assistant at the Oncologist's office, she was very concerned about Tom's loss of weight as he had lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks. She also was very upset that his blood pressure was so low, 87/44. They would not let us out of the office before he received an IV of saline solution to try and bring his blood pressure up. He was severly dehydrated and they had a terrible time just finding a vein to take his blood for his weekly blood test. This was due to a medication that the Radiologist perscribed to try and reduce the swelling in Tom's feet. Lindsey took him off that immediately.

I vowed that I would not fight with him over eating, but find that the Drs are telling us that we have to push as much at him as he can stand. It is either that or he has to go into the hospital where they will feed him via an IV. He does like the Ensure and is drinking 6 bottles of them a day. The good news here is that he has gained 5 pounds since Thursday. The bad news is that the combination of the steroids, radiation treatments and chemotherapy are really doing a job on him. He is as weak as a lamp and the steriods have raised his blood sugar and he now has a mild form of diabetes. This is making it very difficult for him to swallow solid food. He chews a mouthful of scrambled eggs for 5 minutes before he can finally swallow it and then only with a drink. Needless to say this just tires him out more.

I called the Oncologist's office this morning to let them know that we had had a rough weekend! They thought that it was best if he saw a doctor today and since he was going this morning for a radiation treatment, it was decided that his radiologist Dr Troutman would be the best one to see. Dr Troutman explained that he felt the best course to follow would be to just continue with radiation and chemotherapy treatments as well as the 1 1/2 steriods. He said that we would monitor him closely and if his condition continued to deteriorate, that they might want to consider stopping his treatments all together. He explained that due to the size of the tumor we only had a 40% chance of the treatments reducing/stopping the growth of the tumor. I have decided to take a leave of absence from work. Dr Troutman wrote me out for the next 30 days so that I could stay home with Tom 24/7. After the 30 days we will reevaluate Tom's condition and decide what to do from there. He will have finished his radiation and first round of chemotherapy by that time. Sean is here with us now and is going to stay through Wednesday when Mike is coming for a week. For the most part, I can take care of Tom, but if he needs assistance getting up, he is dead weight and I can not always get him out of the car or chair. And if he falls, there is not way that I can get him up. Tom and I are so very grateful to both of them for all of the love and support that they give us both every day!

Please continue to keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Thursday, March 20, 2008

We reached a milestone today

Sorry that it has been so long since we have given you an update. I went back to work on Monday and my evenings have been busy with Tom. Sean moved in with us last weekend (God bless him) and has been staying with Tom during the day. At first they had a few issues. They had to decide the best way to get daily tasks accomplished. Tom hated to bother Sean while he was working, but he is so weak, it takes him a long time to manage the simplest task like putting his socks on. Tom has finally has conceded that in the interest of concerving his strength, that he will ask for help when he needs it.

As of today, Tom has completed 1/3 of his treatments. He still continues to be handling them well. The Doctor has decreased his steroids again and he is now only taking 1 1/2 daily. This is down from 4 when they first put him on them. We are very hopeful that by decreasing the dosage he will begin to recover some of the strength that he has lost. He also has a new prescription to try and decrease the swelling in his feet. We are keeping our fingers crossed that he continues to do well with the decrease in the steriods. If he starts to have headaches or God forbid seizures, we will have to increase the dosage.

Unfortunately, he continues to loose weight. His appetite is good and he is eating well, but the treatments are causing the weight loss. We are feeding him cake and ice cream and anything fattening that we can think of. After years of watching what he was eating, it is hard to get in a mind set to each as much fat and calories as he can consume.

We are all looking forward to this weekend when our whole family will be together. Mike and Tina are coming tomorrow and Anna will be joining us on Saturday. Tom's brother John is coming next Tuesday and we are all excited about his visit too!

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Love to all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Friday, March 14, 2008

A Busy Couple of Days

Tom continues to show his fighting Irish spirit!! Yesterday he had both a radiation treatment in the morning and a Dr appointment in the afternoon. It was enough to leave me exhausted and I am not fighting this horrible disease! The appointment in the afternoon was with his Oncologist, Dr. Brick. Unfortunately, her office is located in uptown Charlotte. It is about a 45 minute commute from our home in Monroe. Tom and I continue to see the beauty in every day! We did not concentrate on the commute, but rather on our absolutely beautiful "Carolina" day. The Bradford Pear trees are all in bloom and the ride into Charlotte was wonderful. The appointment went very well and Dr. Brick was very pleased with Tom's progress. They did blood work and that showed that he is holding his own. He is still experiencing side effects from the steriods which include both weakness and stomach upset. They have however, decreased his doseage from 3 pills daily to 2 1/2 pills daily. We will continue with this dosage until Sunday and on Sunday further decrease his dosage to 2 pills daily. We are hopeful that the decrease in doseage will give him more strength and lessen the stomach upset that he has been experiencing. The steriods do reduce the swelling on his brain and we are watching very carefully to make sure that he does not start having headaches or seizures due to this decrease.

We continue to ask that you keep us in your prayers. We both know how very fortunate we are to have all of our wonderful family and friends praying for the miracle we are looking for.

Love to you all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Latest Update

Tom's treatments continue to go very well with very few side effects. However, he is also still on the steroids which seem to have more side effects than the radiation and chemotherapy! The steriods are causing swelling and sapping his strength. He also is experiencing both confusion and issues with his balance. We have decided that he can no longer remain alone during the day. He has fallen twice in the last two days and has not been able to get himself up. I am staying home the rest of this week to make sure nothing like this happens to him again. As much as we were hoping that it would not come to this, we have asked Sean to move in with us and be with his Dad during the day. Fortunately, Sean can work remotely from any location with his job. He can continue to work daily from our home and at the same time keep an eye on his Dad. Mike too has offered to come and stay, but his job is not quite as flexible as Sean's. I am trying to save as many of my days as I can, as I know that the day will come when I will want and need to be with Tom all day every day. We do not know what we would do without our two boys and the wonderful women who are there to love and support not only them, but Tom and I too. We thank God everyday for Mike, Sean, Tina and Anna.

So please continue to keep us all in your prayers.

Love to you all,
Tom & Lynne

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Treatments are going well

Just wanted to let you know that Tom's treatments are going well. He has had 3 radiation treatments and has taken the chemo pill each evening since starting the radiation. So far so good. He does not seem to be experiencing any ill effects from either treatment as this point. We are all praying that this will continue. We do feel that they are helping his body battle this awful disease. He appears to be gaining each day! I am also happy to report that he is using the cane most of the time. It really seems to be helping him a lot with his balance. Of course there are plenty of times that he forgets that he is suppose to be using it, but for the most part I think that it gives him a sense of security. He has not used the walker very much, as the cane seems to be enough for him at this time.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Most especially for Tom and that he continues to see very little side effects from these treatments.

Love to all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

And so the treatments begin!

Tom began his radiation treatments today. We have finally received the chemotherapy drug. (But it took me running out into the street and flaging down the UPS truck. Go figure, we are scheduled for two UPS shipments in one day and they put them on two different trucks). When the first truck arrived, we thought it was the shipment that we were waiting for. We soon realized that it was not. (Thank you Joannie, that one was from you). Of course by now the UPS truck is long gone. I went out and waited in the street for it to make its return trip out of our neighborhood and stopped him. Fortunately I had the tracking number of the coveted chemo drug shipment and that UPS driver was able to locate the truck that had the shipment and we made contact to ensure the delivery to our house. Nothing can ever be easy!

It has been decided that he will receive 33 radiation treatments. During this time he will also be taking a daily pill of chemotherapy. We are praying that the side effects of these two treatments will be minor. Tom is a pillar of strength and although we can see where this horrible disease is taking its toll on him he remains strong. He continues to be in good spirits and still maintains his wonderful sense of humor.

Since his balance has been effected by the tumor, the Doctor perscribed both a cane and a walker. You can imagine how this went over with Tom. Hopefully I have convenienced him that using them will be easier on him then a broken bone would be if he fell. If I really talked him into using them remains to be seen.

Once again we ask that you continue to keep us all in your prayers.

Love to all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Tomorrow we start the treatments

We are still on schedule to start the radiation and chemotherapy treatments tomorrow. We still do not have the chemotherapy pill in our possession, but have been assured that they are sending it overnight and we will have it for tomorrow treatments to begin. I will be taking Tom to his treatment tomorrow. After that, we have a very dear friend who has offered to come and get Tom every day. We are going to try that for a while and see how that works. Right now Tom's body is trying to fight this horrible disease all by itself. It has him all tired out and each day is a struggle. We are hopeful that the treatments will assist him in this fight. Please continue to pray that the treatments do their job!

Let me thank you all again for everything that you have done for all of us. In my previous note, I forgot to mention how much all of the cards mean to us. We have received so many lovely cards from all of you letting us know that you are praying for us. Some of Tom's favorites were some special hand made ones that he received from his great nieces, Siena, Angela,Ava and Tessa. They are right next to his chair where he can look at them during the day. Thank you girls, we know that they were made with much love! That is not to say that he does not enjoy all of the cards that he receives, but it is hard to beat those hand made ones!

I will update the blog again tomorrow after he has received his first treatment and let everyone know how he did. His spirit continues to be strong and we are counting on the "fighting Irish" in him to make sure that it stays that way.

Love to all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Day at the Doctors

Started off our day at Charlotte Medical Center Union where we met with Dr. Trautmam and his staff. After the usual round of paperwork, we met with the Dr. who set up Tom's treatment schedule. We have a tenative date set up to start his radiation treatments on Wednesday 3/5/08. There seems to be a problem securing the chemo drug, Temodar that he has to take daily when he starts his radiation. I called Dr. Brick, Tom's oncologist and she advised that she would call Caremark (Tom's Perscription Drug Plan) and see what the problem is. Assuming that they can get us the Temodar by 3/5/08, that is our target day for him to begin his treatments. He will have radiation treatments Monday through Friday and take the Temodar every day. This round of treatments will last for 6 weeks. He will receive 30 radiation treatments. After he has received the 6 weeks of treatments, they will wait around 4 weeks and do another MRI. It is our hope that the treatments will stop or retard the growth of the tumor. Please continue your prayers!

Next we drove to Charlotte and met with Dr. Asher's Physician Assistant, Lauren who took out the staples and told us the his incision looked real good. (We didn't have a 2.5 hour wait this time, just an hour) Once Tom has completed his treatments and another MRI is done, we will meet again with Dr. Asher again to determine our next steps. We have an appointment to meet with him on May12th.

Tom held up well considering it was a lot for one day. He did seem to tired some and did sit down for about an hour once we got home. There is no holding him down though. As I type this he is unloading the dishwasher for me!! He is the most stoic person that I have ever met. At this time he is not in any pain, and we continue to pray that this will continue to be the case. His wonderful sense of humor is as evident as it ever was. We seem to find humor in the smallest things.

We want to thank you all of your prayers, meals, sweets and offers to help in so many ways. It is all of this that gives Tom, Mike, Sean,Tina, Anna and I strenght to face whatever may be ahead.

Love you all!
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Big Day Tomorrow

Dr. Asher's office called and cancelled Tom's appointment for today and made another one for tomorrow. First thing in the morning we meet with the Radiologist, Dr. Troutman to set up Tom's schedule of treatments. Later in the morning we go to Dr. Asher's office to have the staples removed from his incision where they did the biopsy. I am sure that he will be pretty tired tomorrow after all of this.

For the most part he is doing really well. His spirits are good and he is eating and sleeping well. I went back to work on Monday and I must confess, I was a little more than apprehensive about leaving him alone. He has however done very well. I can see where he tires out very easily and is slightly confused but for the most part he is holding up rather well considering.

Again, thank you all for your prayers. I can not tell you all what it means to us. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we truly believe that it is all of your prayers that is helping us get through each day.

Love,
Tom & Lynne

Friday, February 22, 2008

Just Tom and I

Just wanted to give you the latest update. All of our wonderful family has gone back home and Tom and I can not tell you how very grateful we were to have them with us during his surgery. He is doing well and is in no pain at all. We have an appointment next Wednesday with Dr. Asher the nerosurgeon, to remove his staples and check his incision. We also have an appointment on Thursday with Dr. Troutman who will set up his radiations treatments. For now we are just enjoying a quiet and peaceful time and thanking God for every day that we have together. We ask that you please continue your prayers as I believe with all my heart that the Doctors decision not to do the craniotomy was the direct result of all the prayers that you were all saying for us.
Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Dad is home!

It's Mike again. Dad's home! He's doing fine, in good spirits, and glad to be out of the hospital. (And we're glad to have him home!!) He's got lots of energy, despite having not slept too well last night in the hospital. (More than most of us, in fact!)

We spoke with a lot of docs and nurses this morning, and we now know the treatment plan. Starting in a week or two (after the small biopsy incision in his head has had time to heal), Dad will begin undergoing radiation treatments five days a week (Monday through Friday), same time each day (they'll be calling to set up the recurring appointment tomorrow), for six weeks, at Union Hospital, 10 minutes from his and Mom's home. For the same six-week period, he'll be taking a relatively recently-developed, low-impact chemotherapy pill once daily. The side effects from these treatments are expected to be fairly minor - possibly some nausea (but they're prescribing another med to prevent that) and some localized hair loss around the specific sites where the radiation will be aimed. The drug can also reduce white blood-cell counts, so they'll be testing him along the way to keep an eye on that.

After the six-week program of treatments, they'll give him a break of at least a month, and follow up with an MRI to gauge the effectiveness of the therapy. Then, we take it from there, moving forward based on test results and the advice of the docs.

We're very, very thankful to have Dad home and completely himself, without any of the potential loss of language, memory, etc. that we were very afraid might have resulted from the originally-planned surgery. (The steroid medications Dad's been on for the past two weeks have been effective in counteracting most of the minor symptoms that originally alerted Mom and Dad to the problem. They're going to be weaning him off the steroids as the radiation and chemo treatments take their place in combatting the tumor.)

We're also very thankful for all of you, and your support, love, and prayers. Thank you all so much for loving us through the beginning of this battle, and in advance for continuing to love us as we dig in for the long haul.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

End of a long day - Dad's doing well

Dear friends and family,

Mike here. Most important stuff first: when we left the hospital, Dad was awake, alert, cracking wise (like usual), not at all in pain, eating well, and trying to make up his mind how quickly he wanted to call a nurse to help him get up out of bed for the first time after surgery (that'll probably be tomorrow morning). He has a very small incision in his forehead. Chances are he'll come home tomorrow, or Thursday at the latest.

We got back home about an hour ago after a long day at the hospital. Dad's surgery, which was originally scheduled for 2:15pm, then moved back to 12:15pm, then back to 10:15am (which meant we all got to the hospital before 8am) was then moved back to 12:15 and actually ended up taking place at about 2:15...as originally scheduled. (But if they hadn't moved it up in the schedule, I'm pretty sure it would have happened very, very late in the day - or not at all today. So thank God for medical professionals who understand how these things work and pulled strings for us.)

The bigger change, as I previously emailed from my phone to this blog, was that the surgery was not, as originally planned, a craniotomy (i.e., an attempt to remove as much of the tumor as possible, with associated risks to Dad's brain functioning), but a relatively simple and quick biopsy, which is required to move forward with the new plan: attacking the tumor with a program of radiation and (possibly) chemotherapy. The neurosurgeon, Dr. Asher, told us after the surgery that he was headed straight down to talk to the oncologist whom he wants to take over Dad's case, to ask him to come talk to us tomorrow about the treatment plan, while Dad's still in the hospital. We don't know for sure if that's going to happen, but Mom, Sean, and I (at least) are planning to get there by 8am tomorrow, hoping to be there when the oncologist arrives. So hopefully we'll know more tomorrow about the plan going forward.

We're grateful to everyone for all your prayers today. Please stay tuned for more info when we have it.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Update

This is Mike from my phone - change of plans - no craniotomy today -
instead, biopsy today, followed by radiation and chemo therapy later.
In other words, today's procedure has turned into something *very*
low-risk, and Dad should be home tomorrow with no additional symptoms.
Thank God, and thank you all for your prayers and support. More info
when we have it.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Monday, February 18, 2008

And again! New surgery time: 10:15am

Mike again - Dad's surgery time just got moved forward again. Now we've got to be at the hospital by 8:15am for a 10:15am OR time. This is good news!

Grateful for your continued prayers, love, and support as we get ready for an early morning and a long day.

Love,
The Croghans

Good news! Dad's surgery time has been moved up

Hi family and friends,

This is Mike - we just got a small but encouraging piece of good news. The Neurosurgeon (Dr. Asher)'s assistant, Teri, just called to say that she had successfully rescheduled Dad's surgery for a bit earlier in the day tomorrow (Tuesday). On the original schedule, we were supposed to arrive at the hospital at noon for a 2:30 OR time. Now, Teri's asked us to arrive at 9am, so we're concluding that the new surgery time will be around 11:30am. We wanted to let you know so you could pray for us, but also to share the news, since it's potentially a good thing. Teri had told us that she wanted to try to move the time earlier in the day, both to minimize the chances of the surgery being delayed due to schedule issues, and to make sure that Dr. Asher and his team were fresh and at the top of their game. We're glad she managed to do it, and that we have caring, competent folks like Teri working on our behalf.

Grateful for your love and prayers,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Saturday

Hi,

Just wanted to let everyone know that we are still on tract for surgery on Tueday, 2/19/08 @ 2:30 in the afternoon. Tom went through all the pre-op testing yesterday morning and had another MRI in the afternoon. This MRI is evidently a more in depth one that Dr. Asher will use during surgery.

Aunt Joan flew in yesterday. (finally reaching Greensboro @ 5 PM last evening, when she was suppose to be there @ 10 AM.) Long day for her. Sean and Anna picked her up and they arrived in Monroe around 7:45.

Mike and Tina got here late this afternoon and Uncle Edd and Aunt Linda are due to land in Charlotte tomorrow afternoon.

Just want to thank you all for all the prayers, food and offers to open up your homes to acccomodate all of the Croghan Clan! You are all awesome! For those of you who would have loved to be with us but for a variety of reasons could not, we totally understand. Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Due to the time of surgery on Tuesday and the anticipated amount of time that the surgery will take, we probably will not be updating the blog until Wednesday morning. But we will update on Wednesday as soon as possible so that you all have the latest update.

Love to all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A Good Day!

Hi All,


No new medical news to report today. Tom and I went to Combraco (where Tom works) and cleared out his "stuff" this morning. It was hard on him to do this and once again he showed me the unbelievable strengh that he possesses. He is truly my hero! I have never met anyone as strong and with so much determination as Tom. It is this strength, determination and the love and prayers of all of you that is going to get us through this! Tom and I are both so very thankful for the wonderful family and friends that we have. We are especially blessed to have Mike, Tina, Sean and Anna with us every step of the way!


Please continue to keep all of us in your prayers.


Love,

Tom & Lynne

Monday, February 11, 2008

Results of neurologist visit

Dear family and friends,

This is Mike; please forgive me if this post is pretty much "just the facts" - not sure I can do much more in this format right now.

We finally got to see the neurologist after about a 2.5-hour wait, and he was very no-nonsense and forthright. He showed us the MRI slides from last Wednesday, and was quite certain of the nature of the tumor. It is a new lesion, unrelated to the acoustic neuroma they removed from Dad's ear several years ago. It is almost certainly an aggressive, malignant tumor called a glioma. It can co-exist with healthy tissue (and is doing so), but grows aggressively.

The neurosurgeon has scheduled Dad for surgery to try to remove as much of the tumor as possible next Tuesday, February 19th, currently for 2:30 pm (but they might try to move up the time). There's a good chance that Dad will need time in the hospital for rehabilitation after surgery.

This is hard news for all of us, but we're glad to be together and to have each other's love and support, as well as that of you all. Your prayers are very much needed and very much appreciated by all of us right now.

Love,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna

Sunday, February 10, 2008

First Post

Hi All,

Thanks to Mike setting up this blog page for us, we have decided that would be the easiest way to keep you all informed on Tom's progress. We will be seeing the Neurosurgeon tomorrow @ 12:15 PM. Once we have more information, I will add to keep you all up to date. Until then, just keep us all in your prayers!!

Love to you all,
Tom & Lynne
Mike & Tina
Sean & Anna